How to Find Your Passions - What would be ideal?

How do you find your passion - Part 13

What would your ideal life be like?

You're now in the 4th part of the exercise. So far you have looked at your Past: Successes, Childhood, and Experience. Then you looked at Who You Are: Skills and talents, Your uniqueness, Your sentence, and Values. Then you looked at what you are interested in: What you love to do, What you actually do, Why.

Now we're going to look at the 4th bit - What would you like?

After all, this finding your passion thing is to improve your life, right? No point in choosing something that you actually don't want, is there? So let's set out some tools for looking at what would be ideal.

What is ideal then?

What would your ideal life include?

If you were to think of every area in your life, how would it be if it was ideal?

We're not really going for some impossible version of perfection - you know, you'd like to be a rock star, but in reality you can't hold a tune, or you would really like to be tall but you are short - but of those things that you can influence, how would you like your life to be?

Here are some categories to get you going:

- Relationships
- Family
- Friends
- Home
- Lifestyle
- Creativity
- Fun
- Relaxation
- Holidays
- Travel
- Stuff (you know, possessions and such)
- Purpose
- Spiritual Growth
- Health
- Work

When I made mine I found that for each category I broke it down more. So for Home it had a subcategory of Garden, which then had about 6 items of things that I would like for my garden.

A tool to find what your ideal life is

What to Do Now

You could start with a list.

Then group things into areas.

A mind map is great for this.

Here is the beginning of my mind map. My actual finished one had many many items and sub items - seems I have lots of  'ideal'.

Here is a blank mind map you can download free to help you with this step

DOWNLOAD FREE MINDMAP WORKSHEET For My Ideal Life

Review

Are there any things here that seem of utmost importance?

Are there any new ideas?

The World is Changing

Global Awakening

We are in a period of major transition. The world is changing. The world's values, economics, and consciousness are shifting. Some call this the next step in our evolution as a human race, or a global awakening - we're moving beyond the last technology leap into an increasing awareness of our inter-relatedness and connectedness.

Money and Status

Currently our culture is heavily focused on money and status. But do you feel it? The urge to have more meaning, more passion, more impact, more purpose? We want to contribute, to offer our skills and unique gifts in service to the world, but still create a life of prosperity.

The old way of just accumulating 'stuff' no longer does it for us. We are beyond just needing to survive, and now want to nurture our higher aspirations.

But how do we do it? There are few road maps out there to show us the way.

Women are the future

I believe women are the creators of the future.

Now, to be clear, I have nothing against men. They have had great influence and impact over centuries in our society, and a lot of that has created positive strides, particularly in science and technology. But I believe that now is the time of women. Now is our time to step into our power.

Our generation, like none before, can build on the successes and victories of our mothers and grandmothers. We are living recipients of the benefits of the feminism and racism movements. We CAN do anything. Sure, there are many many glass ceilings and not nearly enough women in power. But why is that? Maybe one reason of many is that women are not choosing to follow men up their power structures and into the established corporate world.

Maybe some women, and some men too of course, can see the need for a new way of being. A way where the world is starting to heal, where our damage to the earth is reversed and regeneration begins. A world where society becomes more just and equitable and all people can live in equality and peace and prosperity.

Imagine a world where people are engaged in worthwhile work that helps the world to thrive

Imagine a world where people everywhere are equal and can live in peace and prosperity and equality.

Where the world and its environment and creatures are on the road to healing.

Imagine if everyone's efforts were directed towards the greater good.

Imagine if this was you too.

I Believe

That our world desperately needs a shift where more and more of us are spending our time and efforts daily on creating this new world.

That this is the time for such a shift. Our society is maturing sufficiently to allow this new consciousness to arise. We are already seeing a rise in companies that have social good built in to their very reason for existence, with B corporations and for-profit Social Enterprises.

That we, as women who are looking for more meaning in our lives, are the ones who will lead this radical society change.

These are exciting times!

I believe it is part of my contribution to foster this process. If you are excited about being part of this process too, check out our website All The Right Places. I am creating a resource that is useful to us women seeking to begin helping the world to thrive. I'd love to hear from you, use the 'Contact us' tab on the website.

How to Find Your Passions - What are your Curiosities?

How do you find your passion - Part 11

What are you curious about?

Sometimes our real interests lie in our future. What we are doing right now doesn't quite cut it. Otherwise we wouldn't be searching for the next thing, right?

One of the things we need to check in with is what we are actively curious about.

And in this age of google and all things interwebby, we all have access to an enormous amount of information. So by looking at what you search for and look at and listen to (Ted Talks anyone?) might illuminate some areas of interest and passion too.

What do you investigate for fun?

So, what are your curiosities?

What sort of things fascinate you?

What do you want to know more about?

What do you search for on google?

What do you read for interest?

What do you talk about for interest?

Step 11 in finding your passion

What to do now

Make a list of all the areas that you are curious about. These are the things that you are actively curious about - those ones that you actually spend time investigating. The ones where you think you might be interested in, or should be interested in don't count here. Just the ones that you notice you actually spend your time on.

Review

Any common themes?

How to Find Your Passions - Why You Love what you Love

How do you find your passion - part 10

What do you love to do and what do you really do?

So, in the last 2 sections, you've made lists or mind maps of what you CHOOSE to spend your time on and what you LOVE.

You used these questions as a framework for bringing to light what you love:

What do you choose to do with your free time?

When you have discretionary time, what activity gets your vote?

What activities bring you joy?

What's your favourite part of each day?

Which things are you pulled by love to do, not pushed by force?

Now we are going to look at WHY?

Why do you love what you love?

You need to be quite specific here, what is it about the activity that brings you joy?

So for example, I love to cross stitch. For me, it is the ability to let my mind idle while I do it and think about my dreams and ideas in an unforced way. the whole restfulness of it all. Its also about the detail and following a pattern, and using my hands to do something. But it might be being creative and making up a new pattern for someone else. Or creating a useful something for another person. Same activity, different motivations.

The next step

What to do now

1. Take your list of what you love to do and what you actually do from the previous exercises.

2. Write all the 'whats' down the left hand side of a page.

3. On the right hand side of your page, for each item, write out the 'whys', WHY this thing brings you happiness and that soulfully fulfilling feeling. There might be one, or maybe several. Put them all down.

How to Find Your Passions - What you actually do

How do you find your passion - part 9

What do you really do with your time?

Chances are, you already are spending time on your passions. Just not as much of the time as you would like. So let's look at what you currently are doing to find some things that might be a passion.

What do you do right now?

What do you choose to do with your free time?

When you have discretionary time, what activity gets your vote?

In the weekend, or after work, or on a quiet Sunday afternoon, or on holiday, what do you actually DO?

After the chores and the income producing work is over, the house and animals are taken care of, what do you look forward to? What do you choose?

A quick way to find your passions

What to do now

Make a list of all your discretionary activities:

What do you do in the weekend?

What do you do after work?

What do you do on holiday?

Then: group them into categories. It doesn't matter how your categories are organised, this is about making sense to you.

Create another mind map, similar to the 'What I Love to Do' one from the previous exercise.

Here is a free downloadable template for your mindmap

DOWNLOAD FREE MINDMAP WORKSHEET FOR What I really to do

Review

Are there any common themes?

How to Find Your Passions - What you love to do

How do you find your passion - part 8

What are you drawn to?

Imagine spending your day on things that you love. Time would fly, you would be in 'flow' much of the time. Your daily life would bring you joy regularly. We all want to live like this don't we? I believe that many of us can. Wouldn't that just be so great!

Well chances are, you already know some of the things you love. So lets look at what currently gives you joy to highlight exactly what might be a passion then.

What do you love to do?

What activities bring you joy?

What's your favourite part of each day?

Which things are you pulled by love to do, not pushed by force? You're looking here for the feeling and the energy behind the thing.

A quick way to find your passions

What to do now

Make a list of all the activities you currently choose to do because you love them. 

Don't forget things that might relate to people either. Do you love to hang out with people?

Then: group them into categories. It doesn't matter how your categories are organised, this is about making sense to you.

I find it helpful at this stage to make a mind map, like my one below I have started, as an example.

You can download a free outline mind map to help you fill it in

DOWNLOAD FREE WHAT I LOVE TO DO MINDMAP WORKSHEET

Review

Are there any common themes?

How to Find Your Passions - Remember Your Successes WORKSHEET

Free Download

If you have not yet done the first exercise Remember Your Successes, here is a worksheet to download to help you fill that one out:

(No email address required)

DOWNLOAD FREE FORM

How to Find Your Passion - What are Your Values?

How do you find your passion - part 7

So it's good to be following our natural inclinations and talents. To find those things that we have experience and expertise and skill in. The things that come easily to us and that we find no trouble getting out of bed to do.

But for it to be emotionally and spiritually rewarding it needs to also align with our values. There's little point in doing something just because we can, we need to be doing things because they matter to us. And they will matter because they tie in, in some way, with our deep core values and beliefs.

What are your values?

What are your deeply held beliefs?
What are your morals?
What are your ethics?
What do you rank as a virtue?
What do you stand for?

What is important in life to you?

We're looking here for those deep profound values that you hold.Where you draw the line on principles of right and wrong.

So, for example, if animal welfare is important to you, one of your values might be 'Animals have a right to a safe and pleasant life'. Or maybe honesty is next to godliness for you. So a value might be 'Honesty is essential'.

Or maybe its about something in the world, like say 'Climate change is man made and we all have a responsibility to reduce it'.

How to find your values

What to do now

1. Write down as many values you hold as you can. They will likely be diverse e.g. the honesty and climate change of the example.

2. Write down as many morals you hold, as you can.

3. Write down anything that you hold as a virtue.

4. What things are important in life to you?

Review

Do they group?
Are there common themes?

Good work, this is a hard one, and needs a bit of deep thinking.

How to Find Your Passion - What is Your Sentence?

How do you find your passion - Part 6

Who are you? What is your self belief?

Who do you believe yourself to be?

If you could live a life in congruence with who you are at core, then you will be spending time in a way that is satisfying and fulfilling. Who you feel you are at your core reveals a lot about what makes your life work. It makes sense then to follow that.

"I am someone who..."

Complete this sentence: "I am someone who ...".

It might be something like "I am someone who helps others". Or "I am someone who cares about animals".

It's about profoundly who you feel you are. Your self belief, self image.

This may take a bit of searching for, and serious effort. But it's worthy work.

And the next question:

"I typically try to..."

Complete this sentence: "I typically try to..."

What things do you try to do? It might be something like "I typically try to consider how others feel". Or "I typically try to find ways to help others".

How to find your self belief

What to do now

1. Make a list of everything you can to complete this sentence "I am someone who...."

2. Make a list of everything you can to complete this sentence "I typically try to...."

Review

Have a look at your lists. Do they feel right?

Anything there that provides an aha! moment?

How to Find Your Passion - What is Unique about You?

How do you find your passion - Part 5

Who are you? What is unique about you?

We're looking now at what is unique and important about you. 

This question is a bit more difficult. It deserves more thought. If your answers are meandering or complex, then you might be near something important, so keep going, it's worth the extra effort. 

Recognizing who you are and what you want to do can take time. But the rewards of living in tune with your passions are so much greater and more fulfilling than a meaningless journey towards some arbitrary goal, so persevere, don't give up yet.

What are you doing that people believe only you can do?

We are looking for your super powers here. 

What is it that other people believe that only you can do? What do people often come to you for you to do?

And then, which ones of these are you passionate about? Which ones are you so interested in, you have done them for free? Which ones feel fulfilling and enriching and soulfully satisfying?

Are there any things on your list that you excel at, but you have trouble motivating yourself to do? Are they hard to focus on? Do you feel you have to force yourself to do them? These ones might be things you are doing because you feel you 'should' do them, but if you are not passionate, they are not super powers.

What do other people see as your strengths?

How to uncover your true powers

What to do now

1. Make a list of everything you can think of that other people think is your special strength or task.

2. For each item on the list, highlight all those that you are passionate about.

3. Highlight any that you have done for free.

4. Highlight any that feel fulfilling to you.

5. Cross off any that you struggle to get motivated to do, that you have to force yourself to do.

6. Cross off any that feel like 'shoulds'.

Review

Any surprises? 

Anything that feels wrong here?

Anything that you are resisting? - clue: this might be important!

How to Find Your Passions - Your Skills and Talents

How do you find your passion - Part 4

Who are you? What do you do well?

Searching for your passion does not have to be hard or complicated. Your passion will be something that is aligned with who you are at heart. It's who you already are. It will unfold from what you know, what comes easily to you, what skills you have gained.

Its much easier to build on where you are now, rather than reinvent yourself in some new territory. Where you are now is exactly OK for now. Well, it has to be, doesn't it? Doesn't mean you can't change things and move forward. But moving forward always happens from Here.

The next step forward is what we are searching for. And it's much quicker to take a step from Here, than to wish we were elsewhere, and try and get there before we go anywhere.

We've been looking at what your past highlights - where you were successful already, and what you chose to do as a child, and your experience. Now we are going to investigate who you are. What do you do well?

What are your talents?

Life is short and you already have a bunch of experiences, inherent talents, skills and aptitudes. Chances are many of these are ones you have developed or followed because you are interested or passionate in them in some way.

So, start by making a list, or a mind map (see the diagram below for an example) of YOU.

Who are you at heart?
What are your personality attributes?
What are your skills?

Don't worry if the things that pop up don't seem to be career focused. If you are good at crafts say, but can't see how to make money out of that, or absolutely don't want to. What we're aiming for here is a bit of a brainstorm to bring to light things that are so YOU that they seem natural, and therefore possibly not obvious.

- Are you logical?
- Feeling based?
- What are your values?
- Are you crafty? Love making things?
- Sporty?
- Do you love teaching people?
- Are you a natural leader?
- Are you inquisitive?
- Do you love learning?
- Intuitive? concrete and realism based?
- Interested in giving to others or the world?
- Do you have specific skills e.g. good at gardening, or preserving

An easy way to uncover your passions

What to Do Now

Make your list as long as you can, include everything you can think of, no answer is wrong. Remember - don't limit yourself to just those things that could be income earning or career creating.

To help you fill this out, use this free worksheet

DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET

One good way to organize all this information is to make a mind map. It might look a bit like this:

You can down load this free outline mind map

DOWNLOAD MINDMAP WORKSHEET

Then take your list and group things e.g. in the example I've grouped spinning and preserving into 'Survival Skills' because that is important to me. But you might group things differently, this is about YOU and what you value and how you see the world.

Any common themes? Group these together too then.

Break each part down into smaller parts - so in my example 'Logical' breaks down into 'Persistent thinking' and 'Deep thinking' and 'Analytical' and 'Step by step'. These things have meaning to me, so I put them in. You are creating things that have meaning for you.

Review

Anything surprising?

Anything leap out as new information?

Anything that lights you up?

Good, these are some of the things you are trying to uncover here.

How to Find Your Passion - Your Experience

How do you find your passion - part 3

So by now you have a list of your successes, check here if you haven't. And a list of what you chose to do as a child in your free time (check here).

The third area to add to this looking-backwards is 'What experience do you have?'

Finding your passion doesn't have to be into some unknown territory that you have not been before - that wildly exciting but terrifying leap into the unknown. Chances are, you already have been doing things naturally, that are part of your passions. The trick is to find those things that are natural and easy for you. And this step is about looking at your experience.

What is your experience?

We're thinking here about things that might appear on a CV for a job - after all, you are looking for your passions for your job of life.

What things do you know how to do? What things have you learnt along the way? What things have you done over the years? What have you spent a lot of time on?

This will likely be for any jobs you have had, after all that is where we usually spend the most time. So some of these items will look like a CV for a job application. Put them all down, even if you don't want to do that job again, or stay in the same field of work. The aim here is to find what you already are good at.

Also include things that you do out-of-hours - do you belong to a group of some sort? What is your role in that group? What have you been doing in that group? Maybe you do the books for a club, or help out at a volunteer charity doing sausage sizzles, or coach your kid's sports team.

5 steps to quickly find your passion right now

What to do now

Now fill in your list:

1. What things have you already been doing in a job?

2. What training have you received?

3. What would you highlight on a CV, if you were writing one?

4. What experience has your job history given you?

5. What out-of-work experience have you had?

To help you fill this out, use this free form (no email signup required)

DOWNLOAD FORM

Review

Again, any common themes?

Can you group things into types of experience?

How to Find your Passion - What did you do as a child?

How do you find your passion - Part 2

Here's a quick task, that follows on from the previous post 'Remember Your Successes".

1. What did you do when you were a child and you had free time?

2. What did you do as a child that made time fly? When you were 'in the zone'.

3. What did you look forward to most as a child?

Maybe it was playing with other kids in the play ground - playing what? Were you directing events, or being in the background? Or that quiet time alone at home making things. What type of things? - crafty, technical, large, outside? Or reading a book. What sort of book? Did you collect things? What sort of things? Were you always on the go physically? or preferred to sit in a corner somewhere?

The idea here is to drill down a bit into the detail. What was it about the activity that you enjoyed? How did you show up in that activity? What sort of skills were you using? What sort of interests were they? Maybe playing with dolls is not going to provide a life passion now, but were you being nurturing when you were playing with dolls? Or creating stories? Or crafting dolls houses?

4 Quick steps to do right now to find your passions

What to do now

1. Make a list of things you did as a child by choice

2. For each item, why did you choose that? What was enjoyable to you about that?

3. For each item, who were you being as you did it? - alone and quiet? a leader? in the limelight? analytical? physical?

4. For each item, what skills were you using?

To help you fill this out, use this free form (no email sign up required)

DOWNLOAD FREE FORM

Review

And then, for extra points, Which of these activities do you still do now?

How to Find Your Passion - Remember Your Successes

How do you find your passions easily?

What do you do that is so natural to you, you hardly notice? What is easy, and just 'you'? Well, if you could find these things, they are an excellent place to start with finding your passions.

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do"

                                                                Rumi

What are your successes?

How do you bring the obvious into view then? One way is to start by remembering your success already. Where have you already succeeded? Maybe its fitness, or you own your own home, or you have a thriving garden, or you got that qualification, or you have an amazing stamp collection.

Make a list of all the areas that are already a success. It doesn't matter if they seem irrelevant, or not something that will make you a career. In fact, those 'irrelevant' things may well be the very things that are hiding in plain sight, that point to your true passions.

What we are looking for here are the attitudes and things you did to make these areas a success, as well as things that you may have over looked as being important.

Why are these successful?

And then, why are these areas a success? You did some things to make them happen, right? They came about with effort and attitude and perseverance.

Here are some ideas from my own lists of successes, things that I (surprisingly to myself) did to make my areas successful.

- Know you will succeed
- Believe that you can
- Look at the positives
- Know the positive benefits of success and keep them in mind
- Give it your dominant attention
- It is a habit
- Do it every day
- Schedule it
- Keep doing it even when things get hard or boring
- Re-evaluate occasionally and make changes and tweaks to improve things
- Constantly learn
- Read books
- Research
- Improve constantly
- Enjoy doing it
- Be excited by it
- Get advice from experts
- Have a mentor
- Watch others
- Share it with others
- Find others doing the same thing
- Do it to a method
- Make easy small steps so you can accomplish small milestones (tick boxes are a favourite for me!)
- Don't give up
- Go with the flow

3 Easy steps to do right now to Find your Passions

What to do now

Now you need to make your own list.

1. Find an area where you already have success.

2. Why is this area a success? Use the list above for inspiration, and add any others that apply.

3. List all the things that you have done that make this area a success, as many as you can. Try for at least 10 reasons for each area of success.

Repeat for another area of success.

DOWNLOAD this worksheet to help you with this exercise

Review

Any common themes? Any things that took you by surprise? Any aha! moments? Excellent! We'll try a few other ways of tackling this problem, then put them all together and see what is revealed.

4 Critical Keys to Finding Your Passion

How do you find your Passion? 

Do you even have a passion? How do you find that one thing that will make all the difference to your life, make everything easy, and oh, make you a million dollars?

Well, I have said before that maybe we don't have One Thing that is our destiny. But what say we had some things that we just love to do? What say we have things that are as natural as breathing to us. And the trick with these things is that they are as natural to us as breathing, so we just don't notice them. Who actually notices breathing? Only people who can't do it well and have a problem, the rest of us do it on auto pilot.

I remember my talented sister when she was young, she can draw amazingly. Its just a thing she does. Not something that rates as extraordinary to her. A bit like people who can sing. Is it a valued thing? Well, probably not so much, its just what happens, right? But for the rest of us who can't draw / sing this seems like an incredible super power. The same with your passions. They're the things we do when we are doing 'stuff' and not noticing. So, how do we bring them to light, so we can see the things that are easy and natural and truly 'us'?

One way to start is to look at our lives and find the common themes. Start with this list and fill in some of these areas, and see if you can see the things that are hiding in plain sight.

4 Key Areas to Find your Passion

1. Look at your past

- Where have you been successful already? What areas of your life are good? It might be study, or your home, or relationships, or your fitness, or that excellent sport you play, or the cross stitch you can't wait to get home to and do. List them out.
- Why were you successful in these areas? What did you do to make them a success?
- Remember what you chose to do as a child when you had free time.
- What experience and life skills have you acquired?

2. Who are you?

- What are your unique attributes? Are you logical? Inquisitive? Caring?
- What are your values?
- What are your skills and talents?
- Complete this sentence "I am someone who..." and this one "I am a ....person".
- What do you believe?

3. What are you interested and drawn to?

- What do you love to do?
- What do you spend your time on?
- What do you spend your free time on?
- What are you doing when time flies?
- What are you doing when you feel most beautiful?
- What do you look forward to doing after work?

4. What would you like?

- What would be ideal in your life?

- If you could do anything for a job, what would it be?

- What is your dream?

- What would an ideal world be like?

I'll break these down a bit more in posts to follow.

How to Increase your Job Satisfaction

Stuck in your current job? Sometimes you can't just up and leave for the dream job that fulfills you and also gives back to the world, but you want to be able to survive or improve your current job.

Here are 8 tips to help with making the job you have more aligned with your values, and to make it more satisfying and meaningful:

1. Build relationships

Hang out with positive co-workers, get to know more people, join groups so you can expand your at-work social network with great people.

2. Get involved in social benefit opportunities provided by the company

Make a contribution that extends beyond yourself. Join, or create a movement that has some eco or social goal within the company.

3. Mentor a colleague

Help a team mate or intern advance their skills.

4. Change the way you work

so you can spend more time and energy on tasks you find fulfilling. 

Or change existing tasks by introducing elements that inspire you.

5. Take stock of where you are relative to your future goals

Examine where you in relation to where you see yourself going. Are you on track?

6. Set some self-improvement goals

Think how you can add to and expand your skills so that you are moving towards your longer term goals.

7. Try a lateral move within the company

Would a lateral move provide a job that is more aligned with your values?

8. Incorporate your passion and interests in your work life

For example, you love to help people; where can you use this in your current job? 

'Work That Matters' means what anyway?

How do we know we are doing work that matters?

How can we tell that the work we are doing is work that matters? How do we define 'Matters'?

Probably the answer to this depends a lot on your personal values and culture and society - so a religious group is going to define it differently to a close-knit tribal society, or an autonomous and freedom-seeking modern urbanite. But here is how some others have defined it.

In a study of ethical work Garner, Csikszentmihalyi and Damon defined 'Good Work' as "work of expert quality that benefits the broader society".

The Pachamama Alliance talk about "bringing forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, socially just human presence on this planet".

Buddha: "Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others."

Lao Tzu: "If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence".

Rumi: "Your work is to discover your world, and then with all your heart give yourself to it."

I think 'Work That Matters' is work that helps the world to thrive, that makes the world a better place for everyone. I think that giving, not getting, is the way forward. And that many of us want to contribute to something meaningful and purposeful in this way.

Imagine: What if everyone was engaged in work that matters?

Imagine: What if you were?

What is Meaningful Work?

What exactly is meaningful work anyway?

A similar question is: What does 'matter' mean, in the sense of the results of work, but we'll examine that in the next post. That will also address 'meaningful' to others and the world. This one is about how does work become meaningful personally to you. What aspects of a job make it of personal value to you?

Roman Krznaric, in his book 'How to find fulfilling work' suggests that there are 5 aspects that make a job meaningful:

1. earning money

2. achieving status

3. making a difference

4. following our passions

5. using our talents

He defines Money and Status as extrinsic motivating factors - ones where work is a means to an end. The other 3 - making a difference, passion and talents - are intrinsic. Work has value as an end in itself.

Now there is a lot to say about all of these, but here's a snapshot

Money

The problem with being only motivated by money is the 'hedonic treadmill' - so enough is never enough. Our expectations are always rising the more we get, and we end up forever yearning and never arriving.

Social Status

As Krznaric defines it, this can come in 2 forms - having a prestigious job that is admired by others, and our position relative to others. A bit like the money one, there is no 'there' there, we don't arrive, as there is always a higher level of status to be achieved. And, at its core, it's really all about what others think of us.

Making a Difference

This is about doing work that makes a positive contribution, to people and the planet. As Krznaric says "we want to be able to look back in old age and feel we have left our mark". This is work that benefits broader society, or furthers a transcendent ethical cause.

Passions

Do what you love, love what you do.
Can you transform your hobbies or interests into your job? Works for some, not for others.

Talents

Do you want to realize your potential by stretching your talents? The choice here is to become a specialist, or high achiever in a narrow field, or a generalist or wide achiever across many fields.

Back to Krznaric: "pursuing a career mainly because it offers the tempting rewards of money and status is an unlikely route to the good life". "...following our values, passions and talents is the most likely way to satisfy our hunger for fulfillment".

So there's our choices laid out. Now we need to look at what we are trying to do.

Living with Passion and Soul

Your purpose in life is to live with passion and choice and soul. Sounds easy, right?

Well, let's unpick this a bit to see how. There are lots of different areas in our lives. So, does this mean your hobbies? Your relationships? Your recreation? Your work?

Hobbies are not so hard, most people do hobbies that are aligned with their soul because, why bother otherwise? It's a hobby, totally optional and done for fun. So you like to quilt. Or garden. Or play the flute. It's your happy place, when time flows, and you enjoy it. You doing it with passion and choice and soul.

But where do you spend the most time? Where do you put the most productive effort? I would be picking that it is at work. So, how do you live a life of passion and soul at work? This is the essential question I think. And there are several different strategies, that fall basically into the following categories:

1. Make your current job better

2. Change jobs to a better one

3. Start your own business

4. Do things out of work hours that compensates for lack of soul in your job

So, I think each of these deserves a bit of investigation, and in the next few blog posts I'll dive a bit deeper into each.

How to Live a Life you are Proud of

OK, so you have applied the Life Regret Test, and are making choices that won't be disappointing to your 90 year old self.

But what about the advanced version? The Rocking Chair Test? Is it enough to just not regret your life? I don't think so. I would like to thrive, to have a life that I am proud of when I look back at 90 from my rocking chair.

And have you bought into the story that you need to find your 'thing', so you can do that, and then you will be proud? If only you could just find that 'thing' then you know you will be OK at 90.

But maybe its not actually like that. Maybe, to be proud of your life at 90, you just need to do things that are aligned with your soul and values. You need to live with passion. Each choice in your life can be weighed against "does this feel good and right for me?" rather than "what is the special meaning of my life and how do I do that?".

Wouldn't that be so much easier? And what if it is true? Well, then, let's get started! There's no 'thing' to search for, each choice is a 'do' or 'don't do' and you can do it right now.  Like, RIGHT NOW. No waiting to find your purpose, but your purpose is here. And it is to live with passion and choice and soul.

How to Avoid a Life of Regret

This one I call 'The Life Regret Test'. Or maybe 'The Rocking Chair Test'.

So, you are faced with many choices, on a day-to-day basis. And each of these choices add up to life directions. And some of these life directions are just what you are hoping for. And some are not. Some might even seem like a backwards move.

You know, that job that you took that turned out to totally suck, the boss who had no morals, and the client who was the devil's spawn. That type of bad choice. But...you have to pay the bills, maybe this is all you can get, maybe its all you are good enough for...?

Or the little choices...do you have a hissy over that thing that he said, because it is just so wrong and disrespectful? Well, maybe.... How to tell?

And this is where the Life Regret Test comes in. It works like this:

Imagine you have survived and made it all the way to 90. Sitting in your rocking chair contemplating your life. Is this 'thing' that you are wondering about, did it turn out to be important? Do you regret making a decision this way? Or what about if you make it the other way?

Some things will turn out to be totally meh, of no consequence at all, probably not worth even stewing over. Some will be huge - that job you might stay in, or not - and have large impacts. Others will be acts of love, or ego - your choice. Which will you be most proud to remember as a 90 year old? Which will register on your Life-Regretometer?

Your Life's Purpose

Have you felt, all your life, that you have a greater purpose? You know, that sort of purpose that only you can do. That you alone have been sent here to perform, and if you mess it up there is a hole in the world caused by your failure to perform. Your unique talents and skills and passion and ... yes, purpose. Pressure much!

And if only you could figure out exactly what it is, then off you'll go, lala, into the sunset to do it, living happily ever after, following your passion, doing the one thing that you are destined to do. Or not, leaving the world without your specific, necessary contribution.

Yes, so have I. How insidious it is, that feeling that I am so special there is a particular, predestined thing that I must achieve before I die. Quick, quick, better get on it then, right now!

Well, what if that is all a lot of bunkum? What if living your purpose is not so much about finding the one thing, that preordained specific thing, but about living with passion and vigour, following the moment, allowing things to unfold and choosing those things that resonate with your inner soul. Wouldn't that feel so much better?

So, I'm going to explore this in posts that follow, see what unfolds, and where that might leave us destiny seekers. Could be quite a journey.